Mom Culture
My Mother’s “Mom Culture”
Growing up, I always knew my mom was a little different than other moms. She was born in the Dominican Republic and raised there. Now that I look back, she was very similar to other immigrant moms. Worked a lot, didn’t have much time for anything during the week, and had weekends off. Many times I traveled to the Dominican Republic to be taken care of by my grandmother because life in New York City was tough when trying to raise a family. When we moved to Miami, Florida, I was responsible to do what I had to do in order to be a good student, learn English, and continue to communicate with my mom and dad about things that were going on in the school. I was never spanked, but I was threatened to get things done, and I was honestly afraid of my mom…not because she was scary, but because I was afraid to have her mad at me. I remember my abuela Vicenta. She was one of my favorite people in the world. She loved me so much and I could tell. She sheltered me from everyone else and we had something that we had in common, we loved to pray together for hours. This is why I still have a mark on my knees from praying so much with her on the concrete floor. My mom is creative, she made delicious cakes and decorated them so lovely. I was never interested in learning how to bake or decorate till I had my own kids. My mom hated liars, and she was very strict. She repeated things over and over. As an adult, the memories of my mom as I was a child are starting to look dim. I remember certain things about her culture of mothering, and it made me who I am today. I was taught to be quiet and not touch people’s stuff. I had to have respect for those older than me. I always had to tell the truth. My mom liked that I was outgoing and entertained guests who were older than I was. She took pride in my manners and I remember loving children because we had a home daycare for a while and I was able to help her with the kids. I remember my sister graduating and leaving to go to college. She was born in New York City and longed to go back there. She attended Pittsburgh University. Her point of view of this has to be different since she is the oldest and had to take care of me plenty of times.
My Culture as a Mother
As a mom today, I found myself doing a lot of things that my mom did. I taught my children to have respect, be mannerly, but I added something my mom didn’t do. I played with my kids a lot. I don’t blame my mom for not doing this, but I knew that as a young mom, as young as 18, I still loved to play with kids. I still do now! My mom’s culture continued with me as far as cultivating the Dominican culture in my kids through the food. We didn’t visit the D.R too much, but my kids know for sure what mangú is, or what morir soñando is. I enjoy having my Dominican accent from my parents, its something I could never get rid of as long as I’m talking to Dominicans. The world seems to be more complicated than when my mother had to parent my sister and I. It was hard, but things seem to be so different. My mom culture is to raise my kids in a positive environment, yet allowing them to make mistakes and pray for them when they make difficult decisions. I am guilty for not teaching my kids to keep a super clean, clutter free house, and for this I regret. I still long to be able to maintain a clutter free house. I hope to have taught my children to have faith in God and learn from their struggles.
“Mom Culture” around the world
I’ve always loved studying about different cultures, so “mom culture” around the world is fascinating to me. Let’s take a look at some examples of “mom culture” aka parenting as a mom in different parts of the world. Though there is a vast variety of parenting styles in each country, this is just what I have found in research.
Moms from Japan
In Japan, there is a parenting philosophy called "amae," which emphasizes the importance of the mother-child bond. Japanese mothers tend to be very hands-on with their children, often co-sleeping and carrying their babies in slings or wraps. They also place a strong emphasis on discipline and respect for authority which can be reflected in the strict rules and expectations that they set for their children.
Raising children this way can also make it difficult for children to become independent and separate from their mothers as they grow older. which can be reflected in the strict rules and expectations that they set for their children.
Japanese moms do not show public affection towards their children.
Young children are responsible to be independent and self-reliant. They train their children to go to school by themselves even if they have to take public transportation.
in Japan, it is encouraged that parents consistently positively reinforce their child’s actions and keep criticisms to a minimum.
Children are taught to practice discipline and it’s rare for their moms and dads to praise or scold them in front of a group of other people.
Japanese moms have practiced the art of disciplining their children so well that they have a particular word for it – that word is shitsuke.
One thing common in Japanese mothers’ daily routines is preparing ‘bento’ boxes (lunch boxes in English), which contain delicious snacks and consumables. These are always meticulously prepared, as it is a source of pride for a child to have the best bento box at lunch.
Resources:
The World Famous Parenting Style that teaches children to be Self Resilient
How To Parent Like Japanese Do
Mom’s Life in Japan part 2-Youtube
Being a Mom in Japan: Life, Work, and Childcare
An Unfiltered Look at Working Mom Life in Japan
Moms from Scandinavia:
Scandinavia, historically Scandia, part of northern Europe, generally held to consist of the two countries of the Scandinavian Peninsula, Norway and Sweden, with the addition of Denmark.
In Scandinavia, there is a focus on raising independent children who can take care of themselves. This means that Scandinavian mothers tend to give their children a lot of freedom and encourage them to explore and make their own decisions. They also place a high value on gender equality and often share parenting responsibilities equally with their partners. Parents often provide them with the tools they need to become self-sufficient. Scandinavian mothers may also share parenting responsibilities equally with their partners. For example, fathers in Sweden are entitled to 480 days of paid parental leave, which can be split with the mother.
Resources:
14 differences between a normal mom and a swedish mom
Two New Moms Return to Work — One in Seattle, One in Stockholm
A trip to my mother’s native Sweden helped me recapture my childhood
Moms from Africa
In Africa, extended family and community support are often key components of raising children. Mothers in many African cultures rely on the help and guidance of their elders, and children are often raised in a communal setting. There is also a strong emphasis on respect for elders and traditional values.
In some African cultures, motherhood is seen as a sacred responsibility that is not taken lightly, and mothers may be held to very high standards.
Resources:
13 Reasons why African Moms are so Unique
A Tribute to African Mothers…For your Strength, Sacrifices, and Endless Love!
